Tight and white is the new style, so don’t bust it
lycra costs bills but cotton kills, and wool? My privates don’t trust it
you can go old skool like Anquetil if you want, with glass bidons and a bike that’s rusted
or enlist the help of your friend in Fruit of the Loom – hell, you might even get E-Z Lusted

besides, you need every advantage you can get in this race – and that don’t require a cipher
my Lemond mowin down MCs from Sweet Tee to Queen Bee, so many Ice be needin a windshield wiper
your boy Ricardo Ricco, they used to call that fool The Viper
but just like you he’ll be leavin this event embarrassed - and in a diaper

so next time you dare to tell me where my things belong
don’t forget you already Rode for the Feast with a man in a cheap cotton thong
the way he was doin laps round that gym, he musta had L’Equipe stuffed up in there too
and there’ll be more when they print today’s news tomorrow as I’m still doin laps 'round you…